Muse

Lisa Mitchell - Incomplete Lullaby

Like a turning head
Like a second look
Like a burning leaf of an open book

Like a pounding sea
Like a messy crime
When your eyes first met with mine

Like a broken word
Like a tragic smile
Like a thousand steps or a single mile

Like a lonely chance
Like a savage glow
When you turned and said hello

I was just about to call
There were flowers on the ceiling
You left me feeling

Like a fading voice
Like a closing door
Like a dozen lies and a dozen more

Like a twisted tongue
Like distant bike
When we broke out in the dark

The stars looked like burning sparks
The lights were warm but chilling
You left me feeling

Tired
Could not close my eyes
On fire
But frozen inside
To run or to hide
Speechless my words could not melt
Whisper I wanted to shout
With out you I felt

Like a fleeting thought
Like a double eight
Like a gentle fear of a warming taste

Like a placid breath
Like a cooling blow
When you stopped and held me close

Inside I nearly froze
Your touch is almost healing
You left me feeling

Tired
Could not close my eyes
On fire
But frozen inside
To run or to hide
Speechless my words could not melt
Whisper I wanted to shout
With out you I felt

Like a setting sun
Like a last goodbye
Like an incomplete lullaby

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Muse

I know those words above are so naive...
But those are the depiction of mine, my heart.
You don't have any idea about how hard I fall for him.
You even can't figure it out, the feeling of being fluttered.
Fluttered by no other than love itself.
I got myself and my heart back.
I newly realize that it's still thumping, once I've already found it harshly died.
Like myself is back to its sensibility, never to bewilderment.
Now I'm quite brave to pave my path.
I'm a contented girl ever to own such a blossoming heart.

Wisterias on the top of the highest hill bend themselves in disgrace.
Birds chirp and always chirp in harmony for the morning.
While crows are not necessarily required to sing a requiem as the midnight comes.
Even sun couldn't tempt me with its ray.
Grey skies would turn into serenely blue ones.
Nights and days are merely the matter of time, but you are the matter of my life.
Here and there I shall retrieve my bliss.
The lost bliss the one has despoiled from me.

No more serenades are needed, because I finally have you as my muse, my eternal muse.

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So, how's the poetry?
I've made it myself.
I got the inspiration lately.
I'm not good at all in literature, therefore I appreciate your suggestion...
"Incomplete Lullaby" is a song from Lisa Mitchell.
Particularly, not a pop singer. That is one straight point about what makes me love her.

And about the poetry?
Ha ha ha... frankly, I'm not in love. Really.
I enjoy being single at present.
I don't need to shed tears each night, to have another wish, to pretend a smile, to summarize life with love, to suffer heartache, to act clumsy.

So, how come that the song lyrics and the poetry can be connected?
As I told you previously, it's all about inspiration.
I take a crack at mixing two elements together, literature and inspiration.
Lyrics without a bit touch of poetry will be hollow.
Whereas, poetry should be enriched by strong emphasis of literature.
Combine the enthusiasm and inspiration sourced from the song, perhaps I could make a wonderful poetry.
I know that I've been a moody person, neglect this blog then out of the blue, I write down my idea of sadness or excitement here.
But hey, inspiration just can't come easily like rain in wet season.
It's more like planting corn in autumn and then wait for upcoming seasons for harvest.
To imply my whole entry, I'd like to say sorry. Very sorry for letting you down by my carelessness.
I can't vow you not to be as lazy as hell anymore.
But I'll attempt on how to make my entry look more interesting, which created masterfully by my inspiration.

I'm Just Happy.

HELL-O everyone...

Well, just trying to tell you the truth: "I'm enjoying my life now!"
Haha! Well that must be a rare sentence I've ever uttered.
I see the peak of happiness and it just seem that I stand on the top, higher and even higher.
I don't know where will I reach the limit! Because all I know is just the word described previously: H-A-P-P-I-N-E-S-S.

Thanks for Jesus to keep blessing me.
He let me lean on Him, sustain me from falling the great height of misery, skive me from falter, open up my heart and soul, so that I could try a brand new start.

I know that I have fear.
One of my greatest fear, I even frantically trembling in the midnight.
Like I've told you on the previous post.
Asking courage.
Courage to surpass.

You don't have to know the reasons about what things that can turn me into a blossoming flower.

So skip about it.
Just want to share about my mood-booster.
No, it's not even a concrete thing like money.
Nor food. Haha.
Guess what?
It's a music!
You see the proverb that define: "Life will be extremely boring without music".
Since it's correct, I trust music to pump up my life and to keep it running steadily.

Talking about music more specifically, I'm not too fond on any particular genre.
I currently listen on these songs.

1.) Keen on Keane!!
Keane - Spiralling. I can't stop to sing this song, even in the bus.
2.) Hit The Lights
Hit The Lights - Count It. This track is pretty short, about 1:01 min. But I enjoy it till the limit.
3.) Go Perisope
I love Emily and Dream This Dream. You should give a try to listen.
4.) We Shot The Moon
Perfect Time is my lullaby. I think a boy with acoustical voice could make me fall.
5.) Nevertheless
I don't mind if they can be the next Switchfoot. I immensely love It's True from their best tracks.
6.) Five For Fighting
Have you watched "The Blind Side"? Have you checked the awesome soundtracks?? Five For Fighting with Chances is one of them. If you feel so down, then this track will absolutely work, just trust.
7.) India Arie
Achieving many awards including Grammy by her track Therapy. Now she's best known as the masterpiece of soul music besides Joss Stone and Alicia Keys.

Dear me, it's all about campus...

Hi!
How are you bloggers???
Fine, and that sounds well...
Me?
Aargh, I guess I'm having a sudden ache recently.

Seriously, talking about campus and its life and its surroundings is a sickened thing which can sicken me much!
I don't know, sometimes I feel so light and mild to figure a brand new life which surprisingly isn't high school anymore.
But, back at now, at time that getting closer and closer to the campus life, I immediately feel ached.
Ached by new guys, and a smashing strange place, in which I've never known, I've never been... or I've never belonged.
Urgently need a guide or somebody to boost me up.
I won't be timid, nor my odd old self.
I've promised myself and others that it'll be just fine, it'll smoothly goes through time, and the last, I'll be okay and won't be reluctant to get along with new guys.

Last night I was crying after waken up by the sound of alarm.
I'm 18 God!
I should have realized it, and worst, I couldn't!
I never!
I'm still too young to open my eyes toward new things I'm going to learn. I fear failure of being mature, never intend to meet it.
Then I turned on a music, Celine Dion - Goodbye's The Saddest Word.
Tears ran down my face like waterfall.
It's a very tragical realm to realize that I'm a new spirit and set up for a new place.
An irony instead of pleasure.
I found that my mom's already gone.
I won't and ever won't accept if she's up there, in heaven and no one could bring her down to stand by my side, to build me, to renew this self.

I mean, a campus.
People define it as one and only way to pop their idea of to be or not to be successful.
Some are hesitate of moving forward, some are the opposite.
Some are afraid of ticked by time and losing chances, just like me.
If it's only take a year or better, half a year, or best, a month to achieve one single degree.
I easily flown by my imagination further, to where I want myself to be in next 10 years.
Or even fun, if I were borne and raised as beyond ordinary kid whose IQ is prodigious. 200? Above is more extremely fun.
However, that's just lame and run out of reality.
I am me, and this is me, write a letter to myself.
Because I have no one to share with.

Dear me,
I believe that I'm strong.
I have faith not to cross the line and betray my beloved ones.
I always own strength each time I turn into weakened flower.
And there's always a secret I can find in my deary self which no one knows.
The secret, which is untold, unspoken, or unheard that lie in this heart.
It's all about your own way of figuring something you never expect.
Yeah, it'll open your eyes, refresh your spirit, and provide you an everlasting courage.
But to bring it up, you must awake from where you've fallen.
Tighten your heart and be bold.
This is a special note I write for me, "I am new but I fear nothing of walking the new line."
A campus is still a campus.
Nothing to do with it.
If you think it's an obstacle, then it would be.
Don't ever walk behind shadows.
Never think absurdly of what consequences you might earn of it.
Just be what you should be! What your lovely ones expect you to be!!
Though things can be dark, can be formidable, just have a mighty faith, then God will see and grant your wish.
Nothing is unnoticeable if you decide not to lid your eyes, therefore keep them open!
The door awaits as you dash toward future.
You are despicable if you hide and have no option of life!
Wield your smile and freshened spirit to lighten up your life, because it all start from you, none shall interrupt, and none shall begin, except you.

Dear me,
This one I regard warmly to you.
Please be as gentle as man, no need for hide or avoid hurt.
Be as tough as desert lily, whereas some try to deject you, please stand still. No matter how hot the heat is, or how people spit mockery on you.
But never forget who you are, you as woman.
So be both gentle man, desert lily, and delicate dahlia.

I hope that one will work. I won't ever try to underestimate those spells, tee-hee...
Oh! Next time, if I feel either broken or so much hopeless, probably I should try on a new idea.
Buy balloons and put a piece of paper in each of them.
The tiny pieced papers should be written like this:
"Dear God, I have wishes and You might have known all my wishes, so I ask you for once more... thankfully I'm lucky to find these things to send my wishes for You."

I Don't Really Feel World Cup

Hey there bloggers?!
How are you??
First, I want to congrats Spain for the first victory ever in World Cup 2010.
Yeah, I hate to say this: "Congrats, once more!"
You guys deserve the triumphant of deceitfulness, and successfully nail myself to deep disenchantment.
Why must Spain??
Other countries are eligible.
Spain?! Oh you mean a total joke!
They play suck! Tore the opponent mentally!
The colors of the final? I guess the referee man see black and white.
Blinded by skewness and worst, how could he acted cool by bringing many yellow cards?!
Rain of yellow cards, actually.
Oh, whatsoever.
Hatred surround me, but wait! There are even millions as same as me.
I cry, they cry, we cry.
We curse for tears that come out, we scream our emotion of loss.
I won't make any offense. The fact is, they're no good at all.
My own descriptions for Spain? Here:
1. Smartly deceitful
2. Master of malingering,
3. A team full of Don Juans and the jet-sets, play good gigs not only on the field. Oh come on, you know, Spanish are well known for their best treatment against women in form of seduction, which means, they're good 'players' after all. Spanish footballer frequently score A in enticing woman's heart. Oh... and
4. They're lousy wretch! Always!!

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My opinion for this 2010 World Cup:
1. Italy and France aren't listed in my favorite teams anymore. Since they played like toothless tiger, I prefer to dump them.

2. Brazil?! Oh come on fellas! This one usually stands on the top of people's choice, but you already knew the fact that they play coarsely huh? Felipe Melo, our mascot!! Let's welcome and greet him! The legendary dynamic duo? Ronaldo and Ronaldinho?? Anyone???

3. I never expect a new champion frankly, so I bet either Argentina or Germany would win.

4. The timing, planning, and ticketing are badly structured. All things I can say, BAD-BAD-BAD! even the ball, what's the name? Ah! Djae-bulan-o? No? Nah, Jabulani! Yup, a shabby stuff.

5. A stage of dramas, *yawning.

6. A place of trickiness, where we find deterioration in fairness, equity, and virtue.

7. Is am-ah-zeeng! I'm grateful that World Cup's allowed for men. Each year it brings you another toys, just fresh from the factory, tee-hee!

8. Please blame on the referees for this year's World Cup!! They're fags!

9. I wave mid finger for these guys:
a. Felipe Melo (You rock man! You rock!! I like it when you done rough to Robben! And I love your effort on adding 1 for Holland!)
b. Kaka (Aha! Idiotic-a, who says he's a rookie of hottie?)
c. Carlos Tevez (Great oomph there Oompa Loompa, but you better off shut your wide mouth, or else I'll spare my sharp knife for those teeth)
d. Angel Di Maria (Dev Patel? A star in the making, or we'd rather say CR7 to be?)
e. Gonzalo Higuain (A play-maker, but can we just say a womanizer instead? now that fits a lot to him)
f. Cristiano Ronaldo (No comment, this man is seriously dashing and going to be sooo huge this year, I have nothing to say or to brag about, LOL)
g. Wayne Rooney (Come on man!! How can you get so sluggish? And how can you turn into a bloated furry thing? Aaaarrgh! Shrek's an ogre no more, he's a clown, gee, now they fear nothing)
h. Sergio Ramos (Don Juan #1, Nelly Furtado is surely smart for unbind by your sinister serenades)
i. Iker Casillas (Don Juan #2, Oh! Watch out ladies, we detect a... oh nothing! Just a bee. But still, aware of its sting! It's noxious for unlucky and single one)
j. Fernando Torres (Don Juan #3, Wow! We just can't stop to wow-ing at you, such a nice going, young man! I guess it's the trend out there to have babies before marriage, eeer...)
k. Andres Iniesta (After brought Holland down, I curse you! This guy's accused guilty for many cases of knavery, and you ought to share Oompa Loompa look with Tevez)
l. Luis Suarez (Taa-raaah! Our man of the match, this weird-eared man reminds me much of dwarf from Lord of The Rings. I love your action of how to save your team, keep up the good job! Woo-hoo! Adore you!!)
m. Gerard Pique (Go shave your beards, eeew... then back to the field)
n. Georgios Samaras (This greek's so ancient! Craving hard for the ball might put you in trouble)
o. Robinho (Obama everyone?? Why'd you have to play gross? Perhaps Holland nerve you so much)

10. I think I'm full now. It's enough. I can feel relieved a bit by putting things of disappointment and dejection here. Thanks, I really am blissful to have you, my dear blog. And all I want to know for the upcoming World Cup is synchronized harmony, not this frigging one. And all I want to have is my favorite team to be the champion. I just impatient for 2014! Woot woot!

Oh! 4 years for the World Cup! That will be so long and, uuugh... harsh. World Cup shares a cup of annoyance. And here's a note for you Dedy Corb*zier!

"You don't have to act like you know everything!!! Quit bitching like girl and performing shoddy stuff! Your prediction's all wrong! Go get a better teacher to train you! Wtf with NC1253HZ6?! You ask people to crack that code of mystery, now bail yourself out from us of everything you've done! A fool like you barfing spells and magics to be just like Angel or Copperfield?! Never!"

No title

Hey bloggers.
How are you?
I think it's going to be so much fun, even after graduation come up.
Instead of joyousness, I find up a mess.
Friends, they're suppose to be the mess.

Well, have you felt so much broken?
Broke within the feeling of loser.
And exactly not caused by love matter.
Have you ever felt a kind of solitary life?
Without friends, they avoid you.
Just imagine that your mind is being magnetized by your conclusion
of living a life without friends.
What could it be?
With friends, we raft along in the river of struggle to overcome the storm.
We ditch the dismay.
We cope with life suffocation.
Just keep on imagine, that without them, you're trying to get through the hardships of your life, alone, by yourself.
So frantic, right?

Here's the story begin.
I'm in the middle of trouble.
I can't seem to handle it.
Lately my friends avoiding me for a reason.
Yes, I plead it.
The reason is, myself which always fettered by emotion and ego.

I know my self quite well, that can turn out very vixenish sometimes.
And I can't endure anymore to cover up that.
I realize I have made mistakes, but it's pretty common thing people do.
I confess I did it wrong once again, therefore, a single 'sorry' won't work.
Hope for an apology, but I'm too timid to ask it.
Clinging on time and think if it will alternate anything.

I've preyed by raging fire. A fire of my own nature, which is derive from a very noxious ratio.
My way of thinking just get derailed, that's what I have much often.
I've been indulged in a negative point and visualized by faulty sight.
I guess it's my nature, not to be lovable.

I'm really eager on having trusty comrades, understanding, sincere. and enjoyable at the the same time.And to furnish all I have wrote, I just want to let you know that for sure,

I urgently need A TRUE FRIEND.

It's been my drama

Hey, there bloggers.
How are you?
Fine?
Then if you are, it really is an offense for me :(

So, at least, here's what I find in my whole love story:

"Sucked up by the black hole, find nothing and get lost."

Yeah, love sucks.
No other point left.

"To beg someone deeply is such a devastation, to love someone madly is a total destruction, to lean on someone is more like an execution for me."

I guess that quote above is just perfectly tied for me now.
Why must we put 'love' in our entire lifetime?
I mean, that's just beyond lame.

Here's the story begin:
I, as girls around my age, are seemingly the same.
We, as girls, have things in common: shopping, chatting, having fun, and the most, is being loved and loving someone.
Each girl has her own 'prince charming'.
Each girl holds a dream to be with her 'dreamy boy'.
Girls are always destined to dream big.
But, it doesn't always become smooth, never going to be straight and steady.

3 months ago, I met this fascinating guy, yup he's so charming in his own way.
So contagious to stalk him.
Been a fever for me.
He's not that 'pretty boy', instead, a bewitching guy of mine.
Just came into my life, then hypnotized my soul.
Like a cocaine, to be on Facebook and hit his profile just to see if he's alright.
Just as fine as heroine to stare dully only to his eyes.
Stole my heart, a sudden thing that turned into creepiness.
I made mess by falling for this guy. A total mess, indeed.
I cried for couldn't be his kind of 'perfect smile'.
I cursed for myself that I couldn't... couldn't be his world, his drug, his dream, his queen.

This is not the first.
Many men came and then just went away like rain.
Sometimes I use my feeling so much better than my ratio.
Only handle my kind of silly feeling to decide whether I'm going to get hurt again or not.

I'm afraid.
So afraid of being hurt...
I'm afraid of starting a new beginning within this odd love story.
I'm doubtful whether I'm going to rely on someone.
I'm pretty brittle if it's going to be blue again.
Just want to feel the breeze, linger through my body, and warm up this heart and soul.
Too many people babble a lot of wise words of gaining new zest toward a start, but I hear nothing. I feel nothing.
Wise words mean nothing to interfere with this severe thing.
A love matter.
From here, I keep on wondering to search a door, a single door to be knocked.
And if the master welcome me wholeheartedly, then it means my key works well.

To love or loved, is about the happiest thing a human can own.
However, to hurt or get hurt is all about choice that one has to make, a pain for one who get it.
Basically, you ought to decide and that's what life's for.
It's ridiculous to proceed this life to be accompanied by love matter.
But, love and life, are still the worthy things that relate fitfully.
I won't dodge anymore.
I just need a rehab of using too much drugs.
An immediate treatment of having a horrid bruise that keeps swelling.
Big note for you, my dear:

"You successfully nail it! You got there right where I want it."

--- Dedicated to Mr. I., my everlasting prince ---

image --> via this site and this

It all thanks to God!

Hi dear bloggers!
How are you?
Feeling great?
Well then, me too :)
I feel lively and so sparkly. Why do I have to be so?

"Yeah, finally the chain of those horrible days is no longer haunting me."

The National Exam, or we call it Ujian Nasional, here in Indonesia, is finally swept away by a delightful chain of holiday!
Though I still ought to do something to complete prerequisites of upcoming final announcement, which is my GRADUATION *uwa!! This is it! It's all about What I've been longing for so long :D

So, in order to let you know:
I finally surpass UN / The National Exam brilliantly :)
Yup, it's right!
No score bellow 7! My lowest score is belong to Economy and Sociology, both of them get 7!

And here's the report of my scores:
--> Bahasa Indonesia / Bahasa = 8,80 <--
--> Bahasa Inggris / English = 8,60 <--
--> Mathematic = 9,25 <--
--> Economy = 7,00 <--
--> Sociology = 7,00 <--
--> Geography = 7,60 <--

Those subjects are for Social Science class here in Indonesia.
So, the total is 48,05 and the average score is about 8,01.
That sounds good, doesn't it?
But I still wondering, how can I just have the lucky 9 on my math.
I mean, HELLO! That thing is always an eyesore for me and I do always bet I'm going to have the highest score on English among those six subjects.
But I'm surprisingly got it wrong!
I may consider this as a luck and also a coincidence. Ha ha...
So, to celebrate our success, me and my friends come to cinema and watch "Date Night" movie which we find pretty hilarious in the middle of it.
It's indeed, a must for releasing stress and depression.
All of us laugh our ass off and just can't help but getting bashful of people's glare of inconvenience.
Rofl :D

To tell you, there's also a sad thing.
Some of my schoolmates, aren't as lucky as me.
They can't seem to manage it quite well that they will try another National Exam.
I know, that sucks, and nobody wants it.
Answer the whole 50 numbers for twice? Uuugh, I rather die!
My teachers say that some errors have occurred technically with Department of Education.
Maybe the fault is caused by their stationery or any other possibilities.
This is a matter of misery, to witness my friends end up in an abyss of failure.
But, this time I will allow myself to obey my heart's wills, which is about lend a shoulder for them.
I will also try to cheer them up as I can.
I know that this may not be an alternative, but somehow I'm optimistic that a single help that comes from a friend is absolutely a way to boost their zest.
They soon will have the 2nd National Exam on May 10th - 14th.
And the graduation announcement will be reported approximately on May 25th.
Can't wait!

And... as the plan to greet our graduation, our school immensely intend to have a farewell holiday (but only for the 3rd level students / seniors).
The head master recently plan to go to Citarik, a rural area on Sukabumi, West Java.
This can be a lot of fun, but also a sudden mess for the haves-not.
A budget about Rp 300.000,00 is needed to get there.
That seems to be a major problem for the needy because to pay school fee is still an objection for them.
Well, in the end, I just want you to say a pray to make that plan goes smooth!
Sometimes to settle down in a village is peaceful, and yet is so much fun rather than splurge too much on another holiday budget.
I promise you to bring a lot of pics!
I never leave without my camera and of course, so many dazzling pics wait up!

So, I think this will end my story.
Yeah, my story so far...
I will post another after my very long holiday :*
And oh! I almost forget!
To fill up my vacant days, I'll also try to seek a job.
I don't want to be a slacker, age around me is perfectly fit to various job field nowadays.
Hope I get it immediately.
A job that can earn money, and money that can buy me my wishes :]

This is a gift for you for read the entire story of mine, enjoy...
It's "If My Heart Was a House" by Owl City.
I choose a cute video that provide lyrics by using doodlers.

By the way, hope you too have a great day like me :)