Dear me, it's all about campus...

Hi!
How are you bloggers???
Fine, and that sounds well...
Me?
Aargh, I guess I'm having a sudden ache recently.

Seriously, talking about campus and its life and its surroundings is a sickened thing which can sicken me much!
I don't know, sometimes I feel so light and mild to figure a brand new life which surprisingly isn't high school anymore.
But, back at now, at time that getting closer and closer to the campus life, I immediately feel ached.
Ached by new guys, and a smashing strange place, in which I've never known, I've never been... or I've never belonged.
Urgently need a guide or somebody to boost me up.
I won't be timid, nor my odd old self.
I've promised myself and others that it'll be just fine, it'll smoothly goes through time, and the last, I'll be okay and won't be reluctant to get along with new guys.

Last night I was crying after waken up by the sound of alarm.
I'm 18 God!
I should have realized it, and worst, I couldn't!
I never!
I'm still too young to open my eyes toward new things I'm going to learn. I fear failure of being mature, never intend to meet it.
Then I turned on a music, Celine Dion - Goodbye's The Saddest Word.
Tears ran down my face like waterfall.
It's a very tragical realm to realize that I'm a new spirit and set up for a new place.
An irony instead of pleasure.
I found that my mom's already gone.
I won't and ever won't accept if she's up there, in heaven and no one could bring her down to stand by my side, to build me, to renew this self.

I mean, a campus.
People define it as one and only way to pop their idea of to be or not to be successful.
Some are hesitate of moving forward, some are the opposite.
Some are afraid of ticked by time and losing chances, just like me.
If it's only take a year or better, half a year, or best, a month to achieve one single degree.
I easily flown by my imagination further, to where I want myself to be in next 10 years.
Or even fun, if I were borne and raised as beyond ordinary kid whose IQ is prodigious. 200? Above is more extremely fun.
However, that's just lame and run out of reality.
I am me, and this is me, write a letter to myself.
Because I have no one to share with.

Dear me,
I believe that I'm strong.
I have faith not to cross the line and betray my beloved ones.
I always own strength each time I turn into weakened flower.
And there's always a secret I can find in my deary self which no one knows.
The secret, which is untold, unspoken, or unheard that lie in this heart.
It's all about your own way of figuring something you never expect.
Yeah, it'll open your eyes, refresh your spirit, and provide you an everlasting courage.
But to bring it up, you must awake from where you've fallen.
Tighten your heart and be bold.
This is a special note I write for me, "I am new but I fear nothing of walking the new line."
A campus is still a campus.
Nothing to do with it.
If you think it's an obstacle, then it would be.
Don't ever walk behind shadows.
Never think absurdly of what consequences you might earn of it.
Just be what you should be! What your lovely ones expect you to be!!
Though things can be dark, can be formidable, just have a mighty faith, then God will see and grant your wish.
Nothing is unnoticeable if you decide not to lid your eyes, therefore keep them open!
The door awaits as you dash toward future.
You are despicable if you hide and have no option of life!
Wield your smile and freshened spirit to lighten up your life, because it all start from you, none shall interrupt, and none shall begin, except you.

Dear me,
This one I regard warmly to you.
Please be as gentle as man, no need for hide or avoid hurt.
Be as tough as desert lily, whereas some try to deject you, please stand still. No matter how hot the heat is, or how people spit mockery on you.
But never forget who you are, you as woman.
So be both gentle man, desert lily, and delicate dahlia.

I hope that one will work. I won't ever try to underestimate those spells, tee-hee...
Oh! Next time, if I feel either broken or so much hopeless, probably I should try on a new idea.
Buy balloons and put a piece of paper in each of them.
The tiny pieced papers should be written like this:
"Dear God, I have wishes and You might have known all my wishes, so I ask you for once more... thankfully I'm lucky to find these things to send my wishes for You."