It's been my drama

Hey, there bloggers.
How are you?
Fine?
Then if you are, it really is an offense for me :(

So, at least, here's what I find in my whole love story:

"Sucked up by the black hole, find nothing and get lost."

Yeah, love sucks.
No other point left.

"To beg someone deeply is such a devastation, to love someone madly is a total destruction, to lean on someone is more like an execution for me."

I guess that quote above is just perfectly tied for me now.
Why must we put 'love' in our entire lifetime?
I mean, that's just beyond lame.

Here's the story begin:
I, as girls around my age, are seemingly the same.
We, as girls, have things in common: shopping, chatting, having fun, and the most, is being loved and loving someone.
Each girl has her own 'prince charming'.
Each girl holds a dream to be with her 'dreamy boy'.
Girls are always destined to dream big.
But, it doesn't always become smooth, never going to be straight and steady.

3 months ago, I met this fascinating guy, yup he's so charming in his own way.
So contagious to stalk him.
Been a fever for me.
He's not that 'pretty boy', instead, a bewitching guy of mine.
Just came into my life, then hypnotized my soul.
Like a cocaine, to be on Facebook and hit his profile just to see if he's alright.
Just as fine as heroine to stare dully only to his eyes.
Stole my heart, a sudden thing that turned into creepiness.
I made mess by falling for this guy. A total mess, indeed.
I cried for couldn't be his kind of 'perfect smile'.
I cursed for myself that I couldn't... couldn't be his world, his drug, his dream, his queen.

This is not the first.
Many men came and then just went away like rain.
Sometimes I use my feeling so much better than my ratio.
Only handle my kind of silly feeling to decide whether I'm going to get hurt again or not.

I'm afraid.
So afraid of being hurt...
I'm afraid of starting a new beginning within this odd love story.
I'm doubtful whether I'm going to rely on someone.
I'm pretty brittle if it's going to be blue again.
Just want to feel the breeze, linger through my body, and warm up this heart and soul.
Too many people babble a lot of wise words of gaining new zest toward a start, but I hear nothing. I feel nothing.
Wise words mean nothing to interfere with this severe thing.
A love matter.
From here, I keep on wondering to search a door, a single door to be knocked.
And if the master welcome me wholeheartedly, then it means my key works well.

To love or loved, is about the happiest thing a human can own.
However, to hurt or get hurt is all about choice that one has to make, a pain for one who get it.
Basically, you ought to decide and that's what life's for.
It's ridiculous to proceed this life to be accompanied by love matter.
But, love and life, are still the worthy things that relate fitfully.
I won't dodge anymore.
I just need a rehab of using too much drugs.
An immediate treatment of having a horrid bruise that keeps swelling.
Big note for you, my dear:

"You successfully nail it! You got there right where I want it."

--- Dedicated to Mr. I., my everlasting prince ---

image --> via this site and this